So there I was, Monday morning, sitting at work, thinking that I can’t hold this up for an entire day.. Everything itching, my feet swollen. Some sort of allergic reaction was occurring in my body. Now on Friday, after seeing the doctor more times in one week than I have in two years, I can finally focus a bit on the things I wanted to focus on during the entire week. The entire week, I felt a need to be close to God but I just couldn’t focus because of the itching which was so prominent during the day and night. Thursday was a breaking point somehow.
I went to the doctor in the morning, who on his turn sent me to the dermatologist. So that was scheduled for 2 o’clock in the afternoon. During that morning I just felt so tired and ‘left behind’ somehow, not seeing that God was talking or communicating with me in any way. When the mail arrived around lunch time, the Open Doors newsletter was there. While I was reading about the situation in Pakistan, Libya and Colombia, I started to feel small. I started to get this feeling that, actually I don’t have anything to worry or be upset about. God is there, if we are sick at home, itching constantly or if we are being persecuted because of our faith.
Reading the newsletter made me realize how good my life is and how one setback with health issues made me worried and sad, feeling that God isn’t doing anything. How small the feeling I had is and how little it is saying. I shouldn’t worry for the small things I go through now. God is always in control. Even though I don’t feel that, it is true. We only have to hear what God is doing in the nations of this earth where people are not free to believe what they want.
If you are thinking that you are going through a lot and feel that even a small fence is too big to climb, I want to encourage you to read about Christians in North Korea, Pakistan, Libya, Iraq, Iran etc. Pick a land and read about them. A good site for that is http://www.opendoors.org/ .
God is always bigger than anything that we have in our lives. He is asking us, if we are willing to surrender it and submit our lives to His will. No one promises you it is easy. But God promises you that He will guide you. God will never go faster than you can handle.
Will you let God play a part in your life, or will you let Him be the director?
11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. 13 You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.